I VOTED HUUUUGE!

So should you!

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Fasten Your Seat Belts

november

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October 30, 2014 · 10:18 pm

I Read Adoption Books

I borrowed a copy of Rescuing Julia Twice recently. I will do my best to read and review it, but it’s not easy when the author opens the book

…which is written under her real name about her experiences with her child using her child’s real name

…and which she advertises using a blog with her real name and her child’s real name and picture on it

…with a gem like this:

Author’s note: Out of respect for their privacy, I have changed the names of some of the people who appear in these pages.

 

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Filed under Books, Colonialism ROCKS!, WTF?!

“When You Adopt, You Learn Deep Inside…

“…that everything in life depends on opportunity. So as your Treasurer, I’ll help give people the financial skills to succeed in today’s tough economy. I’ll lead on wage equality from day one. Everyone deserves equal pay for equal work. Teach people how to save money and avoid debt and fraud. A college savings plan for kindergarten kids who need iot most. Because I know in life that opportunity is everything.”

What exactly is it you want to accomplish here, Ms. Goldberg? Pimp your adoptee/s to glorify yourself and adoption, or end adoption as we know it? You realize that actually giving women equal opportunities and equal pay might end adoption as we know it, right?

Right: That’s why you don’t say word one about extending any actual support to young single mothers. They should do a man’s work for a man’s pay while raising a kid alone and stay out of debt while doing it, which they totally can because their leisurely lives allow them plenty of time to attend your proposed financial planning classes. And they have no right to complain about having no baby food now because you have so generously provided their little ones with a college savings plan. (What good is a plan with no money to implement it?)

If they can’t meet your impossible criteria, I reckon vulnerable young single mothers should just hand their baby over to someone who’s been waiting to seize an an “opportunity,” don’t you? Waiting right there in the hospital for the “opportunity” to have newborn plopped into their arms. Waiting for “opportunity” the way a vulture waits for something down there to get weak enough to be torn open and eaten.

PS–I don’t know which of her kids was adopted or whether it was both, but check’em out. They’re in the commercial, all grown up, sitting behind Mommy…and flashing not the least blip of a smile. It’s like their mouths have flatlined.

(Yes, this is old news. Yes, there’s been other old news on my blog today. Yes, I am trying to clean out my drafts folder. Sorry.)

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Filed under Adopted And Happy!, Tee vee, The Adoption Process Moral Pedestal, You're going to Hell for this.

No, Payton Won’t “Understand”

The snurchin has very little to add to this article/editorial about the white couple who got the wrong sperm by mistake and are now suing for the “wrongful birth” of a biracial daughter.

It’s not them, you see. It’s their families and friends who just don’t understand

“[Payton] will understand it wasn’t about, ‘We didn’t want you. We wanted a white baby.’ That wasn’t what it was about.”

Then what is it about?

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Filed under AdoptoLand, Forever Family, It Can't Be Racist. I Didn't Use the N-word Once!, Sad and beautiful, WTF?!

Shut Up, Susan Boyle.

Guess who wants to adopt? Guess who knows she might both get her way and be thought of as A Great Humanitarian if she phrases her desire to adopt as a desire to help poor children? Guess who’s getting/gonna get praised all over the world for that (whether she ever adopts or not)?

Yeah, it’s another celebrity I hadn’t heard much about for some time until she said the A-word just now. Works every time (see every entry I’ve ever tagged “Celebri-Tease”).

“I have so much love to give,” says Ms. Boyle, “[...] to [...] a child who doesn’t have much, who I can really give something to. It’s a way of giving back for me.”

Give! give! give! That is so thoughtful and generous, Ms. Boyle. Maybe you’re going to sponsor a child overseas, or donate money to help build schools, or offer a foster child a much-needed, stable and loving home.

Nope. Why? Because that might involve giving, as in Ms. Boyle’s actually losing something, and that cannot be:

“You have to give [foster children] back, and that’s what I would hate. With adoption, you don’t have that wrench.”

“Give” and “give to” and “give back,” just so long as you don’t really give.

I don’t think there’s any shame in wanting to raise a child. Why can’t she just come out and say she wants what she wants? I mean, it’s obvious that the one who expects some things to be given to her is not the child, but you, Ms. Boyle. You want a child to give you the gift of being a mother. You want a child to give you the gift of raising a child. You want a child to give up his or her family, name, heritage, everything but his or her life, for you, forever….and you call this giving to a child.

It’s not giving. It’s a Devil’s bargain, and the child almost never has the right to give or deny assent to it.

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Filed under AdoptoLand, Celebri-tease, General Ignoramitude, Stop Saying That

The Only Words I Have Are Effwords

“Why,” asks Yemsrach’s mother, “did an adoption agency tell Angelina Jolie I died of AIDS when they gave her my baby?”

If she doesn’t know, she’s the only human being on this planet who doesn’t know. I will tell you why, even though you know and I know and everyone you know knows and everyone involved in adoption damned well fucking knows:

The agency told Angelina Jolie that because it’s what Angelina Jolie wanted to hear, and because the agency knew she would hand over the money without asking many questions. Everybody knows that. Absolutely everybody who’s read an article or three about international adoption in the past ten years knows the international adoption industry is an exceptionally corrupt one.

I’ve had it. I’m so tired of the constant, self-justifying drone of “not MY adoption” and “My baby was left by the side of the road/is a Real True Orphan/was totally gonna die.” So fuck international adoption. Fuck “We didn’t know.” And if you can’t do the amount of homework and research to add someone to your family that you’d put into buying a used car, then fuck you  and fuck your expectations of sympathy.

The sellers of children and the sellers of used cars have a few very important things in common: They want your money, they will lie to you, and they need to move the product, now, before it’s too old. You know this. Everybody knows this. Only one group, however, is selling human beings. That means they should be held up to even more scrutiny than the other group, because children are people and people are more important than things. Everybody knows that.

And if you did your research, discovered all the “used car dealers” you could find were crooks, and did business with them anyway because this was the “car” you wanted, even to the point of helping them steal the “car” yourself, well, fuck you twice, and fuck all your supporters, and fuck everyone who helped you, you filthy, underhanded, heartless, soulless thieving piece of shit.

And if you discover your “car” was stolen and won’t return him or her anyway? There are not enough fuck yous on planet Earth.

Really, is there any other situation in which someone stands to score tens of thousands of dollars from you…and you believe everything they say? Any other situation in which you’d think of paying a cash bribe as an acceptable way of doing business? And if you are rich and famous, all that goes double. You know you’re at a bigger risk of being lied to than the average person. And yeah, so does everybody else.

In 2004, when it became apparent that Rath’s adoption was dodgy, Angelina said “I would never rob a mother of her child. I can only imagine how dreadful that would feel.”

No, you can’t, Ms. Jolie. If you allowed  yourself to imagine it, you’d have to feel bad about the fact that you had a baby delivered to you on a movie set by a bad, bad actor. And I don’t give a damn if you didn’t know, because you didn’t bother to find out. The online adult adoptee community and others were raising the alarm about Galindo for a long time before anything was done about her. That’s how these stories generally go. With Lauryn Galindo, they go back to at least 2000. Angelina Jolie could have learned about Galindo before she adopted simply by Googling her name. But Lauryn said she was Doing Good, and that was good enough for Angelina Jolie, who cares so, so much about mothers who lose their children.

Jolie continued, “Maddox is my baby, he is by my side all the time, and I think I can give him so much. I can no more imagine living without him than not breathing.”

That makes it OK. That’s how some people sleep at night, secure in the knowledge that having money and things is much better than having one’s own country, language, and family. (Naturally, most of these sweetly sleeping grown-upswere brought up in their own families and countries, and they have all that stuff plus money and things, so they know alll about that trade-off and how it might feel to a child.)

Parents of international adoption, stop lying to a country that already seems eager to ignore any bad thing it ever hears about any adoption–especially if you’re rich and famous. You’re in a position to make international adoption better for everyone. You have the country’s ear. Stop using that power to make things worse instead of better (YOU GO MONYETTA SHAW!).

Stop lying to yourselves.

Stop lying to your children. You’re hurting them.

There is no excuse for this “I didn’t know”-ing. You did know. If you participated in international adoption, certainly within the past ten years, you know you were risking doing something very, very wrong.

And I don’t know why you think you should get to feel better if you really didn’t know. If you really didn’t know, what should anyone think of you? That you’re too selfish, blind and stupid to be raising any kids? That’s not one bit better, is it?

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