Category Archives: Uncategorized

Contempt, er Content Will Resume

…almost certainly both, almost certainly soon.



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The Logic of Compromised Attachment

Who else thinks this is brilliant? Who else relates so much their body reacted before their emotions and brain did?

elle cuardaigh

by Rich Uhrlaub, excerpt from ASRC post, “Wild Dogs in the Basement: The Enigmatic Male Adoptee”


The  Logic of Compromised Attachment

I drink the poison so the rat will die.
My bare feet run on tacks to stop the race.
I etch my deepest secrets in the sky.
I break the mirror, looking for your face.

I trust, anticipating each betrayal.
I climb, because I heard you cut the rope.
I build, and then extract each screw and nail.
Despair is that lone thing that gives me hope.

I crave affection, acting like an eel.
I wear these manacles to set slaves free.
I live in rage to show the fear I feel.
I try to be ‘most anyone, but me.

I burn the map before I hunt for treasure.
Kind accolades confirm the crowd’s disdain.
This chaos brings familiar rest and pleasure.
I hop along, when I could…

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Not Today, Sorry

I keep trying to write a post on why we don’t talk about adoption and failing. It feels exhausting and soul-sucking and every other debilitating thing.

As does November. Please forgive the placeholder post.


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I won’t be cracking wise about adoption today.



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Wish List

Assuming you celebrate a holiday of some kind around the time the days stop shortening and start lengthening, and assuming that your celebration includes gifts, what adoptoland gift would you wish for?

I wish for

1) Open records for all, immediately.
2) An end to international adoption. Wanna help a child in another country? Go there. Don’t want to go there? Send money. Can’t send money? Solicit money from others, and/or organize. I don’t care what you do as long as you stop pretending it’s acceptable for poor children who want to eat every day to surrender their names, languages, homelands, and existing family ties for that “privilege.” Every child deserves to eat every day without having to be someone they are not in order to do so.
3) A society that does not champion the nuclear family as the true, eternal, and only way to have a family, meaning any other sorts of families must imitate nuclear families no matter who that hurts or how impossible that is.
4) A society that knows women are just as human as men are.
5) A society that knows children are just as human as adults are.
6) A society that prioritizes humanity over money.
7) An end to pre-birth matching.
8) An end to private adoptions.
9) A living wage for a day’s work.
10) A society without victim-blaming.


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(meta) Drat.

I (obviously) won’t be posting every day in November after all. A’mom in hospital (she’ll be fine).


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Oh Hell Yes.

Again, no words from me, just this.


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