(Old news, but I wanted to post something.)

I wonder how many adopted girls/women have been saddled with this name? Well, here’s one more: The little girl delivered in the back of an ambulance by a fireman has been adopted by the fireman and his wife. Grace is her middle name, but they’re going to call her by it. You know, in case she ever forgets how lucky she is and asks too many questions.

“We have never hidden it from her,” Marc told “Today.” “If you ask her where she was born, she says, ‘My daddy delivered me in the back of an ambulance.’ She knows the whole story. I wanted her to know as soon as she was old enough to understand.”

Sir, that…is NOT the whole story. Her story began when her mother got pregnant, just like yours did.

His wife says they wanted more children,

“But I was pre-term with [my biological sons], so we knew that it wasn’t possible to have anymore babies.”

I do not know what that means. Can anyone explain it?

Hero Fireman added: “I don’t even think about her being adopted. She’s ours and we love her.”

And your not thinking about it (because you don’t give a fuck about her mother or where she came from) means she’ll never think about it, right? That grace god reserves for adoptive parents truly is amazing.

Why don’t they start calling all the male adoptees Lucky? It’s the same damned thing.



Filed under AdoptoLand, Stop Saying That


  1. I know what “pre-term” means. It means that the mother had several premature babies born to her. Some mothers may be prone to giving birth prematurely, thus raising their chances of not being able to carry a pregnancy to full term.

    I know this because my mother gave birth to me two months early. She was dying of cancer so her body tried to keep her alive by going into labor at seven months instead of nine.

    Yes, many adopters do not want to think of the very real reasons why an infant is surrendered to adoption.

    And, many natural mothers buy into society’s myths and expectations, as in this mother who gave birth in the back of an ambulance. Maybe she “saw this as a sign” and “felt god’s grace” and “felt that she must give the gift of life” to this fireman who helped her in her time of need.

    We do not do enough to educate the public on how absurd these myths and religious beliefs truly are. Your blog helps in this regard. How many adopters and wanna-be-adopters read and understand? Not many.

    Thank you for this post.

    • Thanks for the clarification. I was born 2 months early, though not under the circumstances you were. )-: My mother went on to have two perfectly healthy children after me, so the implication that having kids prematurely meant one couldn’t have any more kids perplexed me.

      I’m one angry blogger. I generally operate on the principle that people who need to know these things don’t want to know them. If I’m educating anyone, I’m thrilled to know it.

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      • Well, be reasonable Grace’s mother had seen the firefighter interact with and care for her When-He-Had-No-Hope-In-Hell-That-He-Could-Adopt her, which was more reliable and honest information than most relinquishers get. Furthermore poor Grace seems to have been adopted by Reactive Adopters, rather than Prospective Adopters, which increases the likelyhood they are decent people. I guess that kids are much better left with the finder, a first 112/911 responder or medical staff, than given over to no-goods paying agencies to persuade other people to abandon their children.
        You might not agree with me, but I guess that your average person involved in a rescue/handling of an emergency, has better morals than your average waiting list PAP.
        I read “five years after adoption” as similar to “five years after assault” or “five years after rape” and if you do so, it is nice to read she is doing well so far, and I do have good hopes for her.

  2. This sounds like a movie script, and 20 years after, the adoptee goes to look for her mom (maybe)

  3. I never thought of that before – that naming girls Grace is like naming boys Lucky. There really is no male equivalent to “Grace, Hope, Faith, and Joy” in English. More pressure for girls to conform and live up to expectations that is not even thought of for boys.

  4. Heather

    Men don’t deliver babies. Women give birth. Just another way words are used to create separation.

    I’m always happy to see your name in my inbox Snarkurchin.

    • Thanks so much, Heather! I’ll try to pop up in your inbox more often.

      Of course you’re right; men don’t deliver babies anymore than a stork does. It seems to me words are often used to erase women this way, especially in adoption.

  5. Heather

    And that title “Girl thriving 5 years after adoption …” as if she would have withered away and died had he not rescued her when we all know someone else would have gladly taken a white womb wet infant.

  6. Cindy

    Snark Urchin, So glad to see your post. Was thinking of you when I saw this article ‘Exclusive: Are Other Countries to Blame for Drop in International Adoption in Quebec?’ I thought how well you could dissect it. (~_~).

    For a teaser, one sentence in the article reads, “In a perfect world, Alba believes more children would be available for adoption.” …if that gives you any idea about the tone of entitlement and the “give me the youngest possible child so I can make believe it’s ALL mine” attitude, in the article.

    Why do these “rescuers” not understand that they are not truly rescuing if they aren’t adopting from foster care …the truly available, needing a home children. Oh, yeah, have you seen where Australia has made 24 million available to continue paying parents after adoption of foster kids. Sick. it feels like they “have to tie a pork chop (lotsa money) around the foster child’s neck to get anyone to adopt them. (pouty face here!)

    • Thanks, Cindy–I’ll check that one out. I think I recently got a link to either that story or a very similar one, but I didn’t read it yet.

      I hadn’t heard about Australia. I don’t like paying people to adopt much more than I like people paying to adopt (if that makes sense).

      • Cindy

        You’re welcome.

        Yes, that makes sense. You’ve always made perfect sense to me. I feel sorry for those that are Snarkurchin challenged. (~_~) Those that are deliberately resistant, not so much.

  7. cherryblossomlife

    Hang on. Have I got this right. A woman went into labor in an ambulance. A man calling himself a fireman happened to be around and ROBBED her baby? Have I missed anything?

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