Heartless Shill Babbles Bullshit

The spiky urchin braced herself for a flood of “But what about teh PAPs?!” articles when China recently ended its one-child policy, and was pleased to not discover many. Maybe that’s because this one makes up for them all in naked greed, baseless assertions and malignant ignorance (or is it?).

(Article here)

HUNTSVILLE, AL – China’s government made a major cultural shift this week.  It will now allow all couples to now [sic] have two children — effectively ending its decades-old “one child policy.”

For years, Americans have adopted more children from China than any other country. There have been an abundance of children available for adoption because of the country’s one-child policy, meant to control population growth. But now, as the population ages, China will allow families to have two children.


Fact check: for years, the US adopted gobs and gobs of Chinese infants, but that trend peaked a long time ago. Since 2007, the requirements for foreigners to adopt from China have been tightened to the point that most adoptions from there are currently of children over six or of special needs children. There is no freely flowing tap of adorable Chinese newborns for adoption; ergo, it is not about to be turned off. But you wouldn’t know that from reading this article. This article says “children” a lot, but adoption attorney Aaron Ryan is here to sell you a load of BABIES.

Huntsville adoption attorney Aaron Ryan says he believes initially, children available for adoption in China will decrease, but believes more babies being born will mean more babies available for adoption.

Babies babies babies! Adorable, next-best-thing-to-white, model-minority Chinese babies! Whence this belief? Even he doesn’t seem to know:

“You’ll probably have families that want a second child have a second child, but I think in the long run you’ll see a greater number of children available for adoption,” said Ryan.

“[P]robably”? Because…? Based on…?

Ryan says the shift’s effect on U.S. adoptions will not likely be immediate, saying it could take up to three years to see an impact.

Evidence? Statistics? Line of reasoning? Stereotypes, fantasy, anything? Anything at all?

Ryan says while it’s too soon to tell the definite effect the policy shift will have on U.S. adoptions, now is a good time to make a decision if you’ve been considering adoption.

“If you’ve been on the fence considering a child from China, now is the time to find a good adoption agency and start that process,” said Ryan, adding the process is quite long and can be rigorous.

Order yours today from Honest Aaron Ryan (who is totally being interviewed for a legitimate news article here)! You’ll be first in line for the first new model of healthy Chinese newborns to roll off the line in years! Call now! You can trust him because he says unsupported things that play on your dreams and stand to make him a profit!

Happy National Adoption Month, fellow purchases.

BTW, I’m glad some of the articles I’m seeing are about the adoptees. Very glad indeed.



Filed under AdoptoLand, Colonialism ROCKS!, General Ignoramitude, NaBloPoMo, Those Wacky PAPs

6 responses to “Heartless Shill Babbles Bullshit

  1. Lara/Trace

    Reblogged this on ☀️ army of one ☀️ and commented:
    Snark is her own ARMY – and one I’d join anytime on the battlefield!

  2. Lara/Trace

    What – and end all that trafficking money? WHAT? It can’t be… ah the Irony. I do feel like a purchase myself. Can I borrow that phrase “fellow purchases?”

  3. Lara/Trace

    I tweeted you – hope lots of people come visit you!

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