cut it out, cut it out, CUT IT OUT!

Or, kidlit for grown ups, part four. A couple of APs has decided that if they didn’t write and publish and sell a book, their adopted child–excuse me, their “supernatural” child, whom they hadn’t even adopted when they decided to write a book–could never know his mother loved him. (I will never understand why such couples think they can’t just say it, but that’s beside the point.) They call their book Twice As Tight. The spiky urchin calls it “Snooky Ookums.”

All night long they call each other Bestest Mommy, Bestest Daddy
All they do is talk like Aa-a-ay Peeeeees
(upper-middle class white USAian APs)
She’s his genius mommy-wom
(for realizing adopted children have another mother)
He’s her brilliant daddy-wad
(for deciding that writing yet another book *appropriating that mother’s voice and story for money is an enlightened act)
Here’s the way they primp and whore:
“Love us more, love us more, love us more!”
All night long they call each other brilliant writers, brilliant parents.
All night long adoptees yell “Go to Hell, go to Hell, go to Hell!
While Mom and Dad cry, “For goodness’ sake:
How can we ever make
Money from our honey bunny
AP talk?”

*No, really: “They…wanted to be a voice for women who place their children up for adoption.” Isn’t it tragic that so many women are born without mouths?

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23 Comments

Filed under AdoptoLand, Books, General Ignoramitude

23 responses to “cut it out, cut it out, CUT IT OUT!

  1. lucrezaborgia

    It’s still all about the adopters needs and wants.

  2. adultadoptee1

    Gotta love AP “literature”. One of my favs was the guy who crowd-funded a book he wrote about adopting a troll. A TROLL. Yeah, that’s gonna make his future child feel loved.

    Seriously, APs DO need to just STFU.

    • Adoption trolls adoptees. Adoptees don’t troll adoption.

      This guy changed the title of the book because the word troll can have negative connotations…but apparently he changed none of the subject matter. They still adopt a troll, but the title doesn’t say troll (although the website title still does).

      Also, apparently the book was supposed to be about adopted pets (?!). If you don’t want people to think your book about adopted pets is about adopted children, maybe depict the pet as an actual animal–I mean some manner of quadruped–rather than something humanoid?

      https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1561924987/the-family-troll-picture-book/posts/411865

      • cb

        Ah, the Family Troll.

        “Also, apparently the book was supposed to be about adopted pets (?!). If you don’t want people to think your book about adopted pets is about adopted children, maybe depict the pet as an actual animal–I mean some manner of quadruped–rather than something humanoid?”

        Originally, the Family Troll was more like a “fertility totem”, i.e. they adopted the Troll and doing so helped them become pregnant with a “real” child. Because of course, that is what every adoptee would want to hear – “I’m so glad we adopted you Troll dear. Because we did so, we were able to get pregnant with a real child. Thanks Trollkid!”. In reality, some gynaecologists back in the 70s did advise people to adopt for that very reason. It is of course a myth but one suspects that some APs are rather disappointed that that is the case.

      • Holy crap. Yes, I know that myth; i actually have a post in the making that mentions it.

      • cb

        To be fair to the author, it was actually me that contacted him at the time to tell him how it might come across to an adoptee and a few other people and I got him to change the use of the word “troll”. I told him it would be better to have the troll be loved in his own right, not just as a fertility totem and I think he did change his story to some extent (although the story is still tacky)

  3. Heather

    Yuck, gag, disgusting … are we sure it’s 2015?!?

  4. Cindy Aulabaugh

    It’s fitting. We had no voice when our children were taken either. Someday the ”world” will understand just how powerless and voiceless we truly were and are.

  5. Mothers found their voices years ago just let them speak and above all listen!

    • But it’s hard to listen when both fingers are jammed in your ears and you’re singing “LA LA LA where ARE the birthmother voices? I’d best provide one LA LA LA!”

  6. Brent Snavely

    Dear me! Has yet another $hit sandwich been served up?

  7. Nancy Rodgers

    OMG! So glad I hadn’t recently had a meal before I read their article.

  8. Cindy Aulabaugh

    From the article, “..but there was ‘a black hole’ when it came to what leads families to put their children up for adoption.” “It was like people didn’t know how to talk about it.” said Kendall, “It just wasn’t there.”

    Those statements (and the fact that adoption continues) say many (if not most) are not hearing mothers. They don’t WANT to. The information and books and mother voices are out there… but, we are kept as ‘silent’ as if we did not/could not speak. I’ve seen many news articles that when the commenters begin to speak the painful truth or challenge the status quo, comments are either not allowed, or the article is reposted with previous comments ‘missing’, or the article is pulled all together (often quickly). Of course the ”they’re just angry or bitter” always shuts the voice up too (as adoptees too well know). Or, there is the rush of the desperate propaganda machine (when a little bit of mothers voices get out or might get out into the mainstream) churning out a new ‘counter defensive’ (i.e. ”birth mothers were promised confidentiality or any of a number of other things) of roaring noise (often misinformation or downright lies) to drown out the voices of mothers. The same as if they/we had no voice. After all, it has been over 40 years, if I recall correctly, that mother’s have been attempting to have their voices heard. Yet where is the crowd of people who have heard those voices? The number of mother’s voices out there is very few in number compared to the number of adoptions every year… especially when you do the numbers for adoptions over the past 40+ years. When I read about the ”allowed” information about the corruption in international adoptions or how mother’s in other countries are treated, or read about all the child stealing in other countries… I just want to scream because those stories read SO MUCH LIKE WHAT SO MANY OF US IN THIS COUNTRY HAVE AND CONTINUE TO GO THROUGH…. and HUH? NOBODY ”gets it”?

    Stand next to a jet engine and speak to someone 10 feet away… can they hear you? Even if you ‘get in their face’ and scream you will likely not be heard. You’re right Von. They need to be quiet and listen. Not rewrite, not dismiss, not refuse to hear, and sure as heck not say, “well, that was then, it’s ALL BETTER NOW”.
    sorry for the rant. This stuff just needs to frigging stop.

    • Righteous rants are always welcome here, Cindy.

      • Cindy Aulabaugh

        Could you tell I was having ‘one of those days’?… weeks? When I hear stuff like this it just slaps me back to day one it seems. It’s getting better though. Believe it or not. (grins)

    • I know what you mean, Cindy. Sometimes I feel like the only people reading what we have to say are the others who feel the way we do–no one else cares, and nothing I say matters!

      • Cindy Aulabaugh

        What is said DOES MATTER. A lot! If for only one other adoptee or mother or father to find support, help or encouragement. As in, ‘they’re not alone’. It builds a community of strength for those (like myself) who .. often feel we are wandering in the wasteland of adoption loss and secrecy/lies alone.. we are not alone. There are millions! Dare I say?, worldwide, billions… of us.

        Big thing to remember, if just one mother / father keep/s and raises their child due to what adoptees and mothers / fathers are saying… well, that family IS worth it.

        We know that the agencies and others are aware of what is being said and shared. Find continued strength to stand for the truth and promoting equity and justice and awareness. Truth wins in the end.

        ‘Others out there’ do care! And what you and other blogging mothers and/ fathers (few though fathers seem) and especially what adoptees are saying, does matter a great deal! Agencies and such wouldn’t be putting so much -slick- ‘oil’ out there if what was being said (”squeaky wheel’) didn’t ‘matter’ and wasn’t being heard. Take courage!

  9. Lara/Trace

    Reblogged this on laramie harlow: researcher-adoptee and commented:
    the propaganda machine= adoptive parents books

  10. cb

    “They also wanted to be a voice for women who place their children up for adoption.”

    As others have pointed out, let adoptees and first moms have their own voice!

    And too often when adoption professionals decide to show that they “respect” first mothers, this is what happens:

    http://adoption-for-my-baby.com/connecting/do-adoptive-families-respect-birth-mothers

    (and it would surprise no-one to learn that the above is a feeder site for a major national adoption agency)

    • Cindy Aulabaugh

      Thanks for the heads-up on that garbage website cb. That is the farthest thing from ”respect” that a mother can find. Sadly I suspect many young or vulnerable women would easily fall for such saccharine, self-centered, twisted, ”praise”, due to not having enough experience and wisdom to counter such drivel and seeing that false praise for what it truly is…. ”gimme, gimme, gimme, what IIIIIII/we want. I’ll/we’ll tell you you’re PERFECT AND WONDERFUL (to your face..or in letter through agency land).. till I/we get what I/we want and can make you disappear.) and I/we want you to stay out in that never-never land of imagination. Don’t you DARE become, “real”.

      Dear snarkurchin, I so believe that article could use a great big beautiful dose of your gifted snark.

    • I kinda like the artwork.

      So this is the book they had to write to convince their son his mother cared. Their Chinese son with a cleft palate is now an egg. Wouldn’t it just be easier to say “In China, when babies are born with cleft palates” blah blah?

      Hence I believe that this book for little adoptees is, like so many others, really a book for APs to enjoy.

      Since I can’t reply to your comment above, I’ll say it here: Good for you for contacting the Family Troll people and telling them how this sort of thing can make us feel. You got through to them, at least in part, and that sort of thing does not happen every day in Adoptoland at all.

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