The World Notices, Jim Bob.

When Stars Adopt, the World Notices!

But famous people really don’t get special treatment, insists a reasonably famous woman who is so important the ancient Egyptian goddess Isis found time to stymie her childbirth efforts. I don’t get it either, but it’s right there in the article, so it must be true! Just like it must be true that Madonna was able to adopt from *Malawi, a country that doesn’t do adoptions, twice, just because she’s a nice lady who loves babies, not because she’s Madonna.

“[…] I have met so many people who think you have to be so pretty and famous and go to another country to find a child,” says pretty, famous Nia Vadarlos. “Madonna and Angelina Jolie have broken so many myths about adopting from another country and I commend them for it. But there’s a way to do it here. I wanted to talk about all the ways that worked for me and show all the ways to adopt.”

“All the ways” are adopting from foster care. Waiting your turn, crazy, antiquated crap like that…? So last century. Good for you, Ms. Vardalos! I’m glad you’re so excited about foster-to-adopt you’re writing a “how-to” guide, if less excited that it’s also your adoption memoir (your daughter is eight years old!).

“I think the public has the impression that celebrities have an edge on and get breaks with everything, including adoption,” says “adoption expert” (social work proffie) Devon Brooks, who goes on NOT to dispel  this “impression” a single bit. And Ms. Vardalos can’t dispel it either. Although she did everything right, the article mentions that Vardalos admits in her book that a Hollywood lawyer recommended she buy her way to the front of the baby-waiting line.

I get it now. You don’t have to be so pretty and so famous and go so far away to get special consideration for your adoption wants. You just have to somehow know a Hollywood lawyer and be rich as hell and have no morals. Well color me shocked. Shocked! All this time I thought celebrities got paid in smiles and admiration, that people walked up to them and said “You’re so pretty. Please raise my baby.” But Ms. Vardalos is right, it had nothing at all to do with how pretty and famous she is!

Somebody better tell the Duggars! Jim Bob, who’s been a “patriarch” for so long that he expects the universe to fulfill his every whim, is sure his family’s “influence” will get him a baby from El Salvador faster than it should take. (He’s used to getting a new Mini-Jim every year, after all; why should he and his have to wait three to five years like the schmoes do?)

Their influence.


Sir, you have a reality show whereon you display to the world how awesome it is to have so many kids that your kids raise your kids. Here’s your influence: Any agency worker in the USA would (or should) run screaming from your adoption application, terrified of being “the agency that gave that family yet another kid and let them name it yet another J-name.” And you know that. But you and your gigantic family do mission work of some kind in El Salvador, so you’re entitled to one baby, quick quick quick, the cameras are rolling.

I guess being the king of your own private nation can do that to a man. You think the people who watch you and notice what you do admire you and find you very Christlike and very wise, don’t you, Jim? You don’t even know you’re a freakshow.

If you get an El Salvadoran baby, and if you get it in record time, it will be because you did what Ms. Vardalos was not willing to do. I hope your viewers are paying attention: If the Duggers get a baby and get it fast, it’s not because Jesus loves them best, it’s because they did something unethical.

Notice, World. Please, please notice?

*Thanks,  PMD, and apologies to both Malawi and Mali.



Filed under Celebri-tease, Jesus Told Me To, Tee vee, You're going to Hell for this.

14 responses to “The World Notices, Jim Bob.

  1. Sam

    “But famous really don’t get special treatment in the process.”

    Lie. Adoption is full of them, huh?

  2. PMD

    Malawi. Madonna adopted from Malawi. Not Mali.

  3. All so true. I wasn’t prepared though for the Jim Bob reference and almost fell off the chair cracking up.

  4. Yes, Yes! an all time favorite.

  5. Pingback: Reality Check: Human Trafficking=Baby Selling=Adoption | lara

  6. This is great! It’s nice to be able to laugh AND be pissed off for a change.

  7. Pingback: Reality Check: Human Trafficking=Baby Selling=Adoption | lara (author-blogger)

  8. Pingback: The Only Words I Have Are Effwords | Adopto-Snark

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