Day Five: Blogosphere

Do you read blogs of other members of the “adoption triad”? If so, what do you learn from reading those blogs? When you disagree, what’s your preferred method of dealing with it (such as leaving a comment, writing a blog post about it, or ignoring it)?

I feel like I’m giving short superficial answers here, but…I don’t read as many blogs as I used to because I do most of my socializing with other adoptees on FB now. I used to read several adoptee blogs and a few first mother ones. (I almost never read blogs by adoptive parents.) I tend to use the internet to find adoption news these days rather than opinions. (But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t set up a decent blogroll one of these days, because there are some amazing adoptee blogs out there.)

And I get news from some adoptee blogs. Some adoptees are intrepid reporters, keeping the issues and news stories where I can see them and follow up. In the past, I learned about the different outcomes and attitudes various adoptees have–our different situations, different feelings, different places in our searches, and so forth. (We’re quite the kaleidoscope.) It’s hard for me to answer this because I don’t read many blogs now, and it’s hard for me to remember what I knew about adoptees before I started reading them. I do know I felt a lot more alone and a lot more reluctant to talk about adoption online or IRL. Now I let it enter a conversation whenever it seems appropriate instead of not mentioning it.

I don’t know many adoptees IRL. Blogs and internet forums were the only place I could talk about adoption. They’re still the only place I can talk about it with people who understand it from an adoptee perspective.

I don’t comment on blogs very often. For one thing, by the time I read a post, the thing I wanted to say has almost always been said. For another, I have a bad habit of not remembering where I posted. I’ve left comments on one blog I meant to leave on another. I do this a lot, maybe because I forget to subscribe to every thread I post on, and it’s mortifying. If I see something I don’t like on a blog, I’m more likely not to comment on it than I am to comment on a news story or editorial I don’t like. In the latter case, I feel I have to comment because I have the chance to educate people who aren’t already involved with adoption or who are otherwise unfamiliar with adult adoptee perspectives/adoption issues. I find it almost impossible to say nothing when people parrot “party lines” about adoption: there are sooooo many orphans, adoption costs too much, adopting overseas is the thing to do if you don’t like open adoptions, white people are perfectly capable of raising nonwhite children without educating themselves because all a child needs is love, et cetera.

And sometimes, obviously, I write a blog post about a story or blog post I don’t like. Many of my posts are responses to blog posts I don’t think much of…because I snark. I’m not half as good as many adoptees I know are at offering emotional support (or asking for it when I need it).


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