(I swear this post was news when I composed it, but in this case, late is better.)
News flash! A study commissioned by Oxygen Network to coincide with their new reality show about adoption reveals people have bold new attitudes about adoption! By “people,” naturally, I mean people who are not first mothers or adoptees. And by “bold new,” naturally, I mean same-ol’ same-ol’.
Here are some of the amazing, enlightened new attitudes they found:
People think–OK, this is crazy and nobody believed it last Tuesday, so brace yourself–people think adoption is a fine way to build a family. WOW! I mean, I grew up hearing that adoption was a fine way to construct a backyard barbecue, learn French, perform a laparatomy, anything but build a family. Shoo, that’s some freaky shit right there.
And the surprises just keep on coming: Why do women relinquish? Because they got knocked up too young, of course! “Of those surveyed, 90 percent identify teen pregnancy as the dominant reason that someone might place a child for adoption.”
It’s the next non-surprise that kills me, though: “Regardless of circumstance, the consensus is that it [adoption] gives the child a chance for a better life.”
“Regardless of circumstance.”
“Regardless of circumstance.”
You cannot move a child from one family to another “regardless of circumstance”! *
Regardless of adoptive parents who starve their children, the consensus is that adoption gives the child a chance for a better life.
Regardless of being put on a plane back to Russia, the consensus is that adoption gives the child a chance for a better life.
Regardless of the kids who are outright killed by their new parents, the consensus is that adoption gives the child a chance for a better life.
Regardless of the adoption’s being disrupted and the kid’s going into the foster care system, perhaps to age out with no means of support or career and end up in jail, the consensus is that adoption gives the child a chance for a better life.
Yup, anything is preferable to being raised by your teen slut of a mother. (And that’s not a dollop of misogyny from 1956 either; it’s a New Attitude! Feh.) No surprise, then, that “two-thirds feel the child benefits most (66 percent) [from adoption].”
Adoptees will always be insufficiently grateful to these people. These people who have little or nothing to do with adoption, yet are so enlightened about young women and the babies who must be taken from them at all costs. I’m learning a lot, aren’t you?
But what if the vessel should decide to parent the baby herself? Ninety per cent of those surveyed said it’s OK for the mother to change her mind before papers are signed–unless she’s already chosen a couple to parent her baby. In that case, only twenty-nine per cent thought it was OK, because they paid her medical bills and that bitch owes them.
You know, I’m not being fair. The study did not report that a single person said a mother couldn’t change her mind because of the money. Times really have changed! These days, nobody believes first mothers are evil selfish cows who–aaaw, shit: “More than half felt that moms place their children for adoption due to selfish reasons and are ultimately doing what’s best for themselves (53 percent males vs. 41 percent females).”
At least they admitted it. At least they admitted, in some form, that this “the best interests of the child” bullshit is bullshit.
Never forget this, women: You can’t win. If you have a kid, then you’re mothering it wrong. If you have an abortion, you’re a selfish whore. And if you relinquish the child, you’re making a wonderful, beautiful, loving sacrifice and you’re a selfish whore.
This study falls all over itself to say people are more aware about adoption than ever, that adoption is better and more accepted and more awesome than it’s ever been…while parroting the same old crap. I’ve seen dozens of such studies come and go and they all seem to do this. They all say how wonderful and different everything is now that nobody actually says “Bad blood!” to adoptees’ faces anymore. I’m surprised they didn’t ask whether or not the APs should “tell” the child s/he’s adopted, because a **shocking number of people seem to still think it’s OK not to.
*This would probably annoy Morrison, but he’s dead.
**By “shocking number,” of course, I mean any number larger than zero, because there is no excuse for that shit.