Shut Up, Charlize Theron!

Having written a letter that made Mommy and Daddy so pwoud of oo when you were eight years old does not add to your virtue as a woman, a mother, or a person.

I had “an awareness of adoption” when I was eight years old too (betcher ass I did!). And so did many non-adopted people because, as it’s always being pointed out to us, millions and millions of American are what the industry so cutely calls “affected by adoption,” meaning they know someone who is adopted. A great many of those Americans are eight years old, or younger. Big flippin’ whoop.

It may well be different in South Africa, but I’m still annoyed.

I don’t understand people’s obsession with celebrities in the first place. I’ll never understand the national obsession with celebrity adoptions, and I’ll certainly never understand the celebrities’ willingness to let their children (adopted or otherwise) be discussed and photographed.

If there was one thing that made me want to die as a kid, it was hearing someone else discuss my adoption–my very personal story–as if I weren’t there. And that didn’t happen very often, because my parents did not do that and did not encourage anyone else to do that. They were under no delusions that they had “rescued” me, because you don’t wait eighteen months to rescue someone who really needs rescuing. They waited for eighteen months because, even back then, there were an awful lot of people applying for each healthy white newborn.

But screw that: Ms. Theron went on Ellen to tell the world all about HER and HER adoption story. My thoughts:

1) Of course it Feels Right for Charlize Theron to get what she wants. Who cares?

2) That’s a cute little terrier with its nose right in the baby’s face, but there’s a reason it’s this dog we see and not her other one. Another article notes that Ms. Theron told Ellen she adopted two dogs in December shortly before 9-day-old Jackson joined the family.

Guess what breed the other dog is? Yep, it’s a pit bull. A pit bull she hardly knows because she just got it is “helping raise the baby.” I know some people claim pits are “nanny dogs,” but the fact is they are responsible for a great many very serious bites,  a significant number of which have involved children and/or deaths and/or dismemberments. If I knew I were expecting a baby to join my household, I’d probably hold off on acquiring any pet until I knew what the baby’s personality was like. I certainly wouldn’t get a pit bull when I could instead get a dog of any number of breeds without a reputation for seriously injuring, sometimes killing humans of all ages. It seems to me to be an incredibly stupid risk to take.



Filed under Celebri-tease, Colonialism ROCKS!, Stop Saying That, What It's Like

11 responses to “Shut Up, Charlize Theron!

  1. And Charlize did it stupidly in reverse. You get the kid first, then the pit. True, they can be excellent and loyal protectors of children. But the key is to acclimate the child first, then get the dog, who will naturally see the child as higher up in the pack order, rather than the reverse. But then I don’t give ol’ Charlize much credit for brains. I, too, am sick of the whole celeb-u-dopt phenomena!

  2. OMG how does these people get to be adopters, how much does it cost and what makes those who do the home studies think they’re suitable parents?

    • I know basically nothing about Charlize Theron except that she’s an actress, and sometimes quite a good one. That’s pretty much the sum total of what I know about her. Do you honestly think Charlize Theron should have failed her homestudy? Do you truly believe she’s unfit to be a parent? What can it be like to be so ready/willing/able to pronounce judgment on someone you don’t even know. Sometimes– actually, often– there is just so much woman vs. woman *hostility*…where does this come from? Women spend so much time stomping on other women; we hate each other for caring too much about our looks, or not caring enough, or working full-time when we have kids, or for being stay-at-home helicopter moms, accuse accuse accuse, she does this wrong, well she did THAT wrong, blah blah blah, on and on…constantly sitting in self-righteous judgment of other women. Life is hard, I can barely manage my own life, I certainly don’t feel qualified to sit around passing judgment all day long about the choices other women make. Jeeeeeez can’t we Women give each other, and ourselves, the tiniest break.

      • I know nothing about her except that she thinks it’s dandy to use a pit bull as a babysitter. I *do* get out and do other things, but sometimes I feel like I haven’t posted in awhile, and the easiest way to crank a quick one out is to go pick on a celeb. I don’t go looking for them; my adoption-related email alert is *forever* full of celebs telling the world their adopted child’s story for their cash or fame or whatever it is one gets for appearing on Ellen.

        The woman-hate charge is one that bothers me, and one I will give some thought and consideration to. I’ve tried hard to give some of these women a break. But I feel adoption itself is a crime most often committed by women against other women. As for where it comes from, the answer is “the air around me.” I wish I were immune to the effects of living in a patriarchal system, but I’m not.

  3. I agree that the pitbull seems very risky, but anecdotally…we had a mutt who the vet guessed was 3/4 pit. She was nasty and defensive around other dogs, and no amount of training ever changed her. But as far her behavior with people/kids was concerned, she was an angel. The vet didn’t muzzle her or even ask us to hold her head during exams, he announced that he could tell she was a sweetheart, and she was. And she only became sweeter once we had our kids…she would settle herself happily in the center of a group of squealing toddlers and bask calmly in the noise and energy. But again, I realize this is entirely anecdotal, and from the stories I have heard, I agree that bringing home a pit bull and a baby at the same time is a very risky bad idea.

    And yes, many celebs spend their lives seeking ever more celebrity, and many make their private lives incredibly public. This isn’t exclusive to showcasing adopted kids; many celebs showcase their bio kids, their issues with weight loss, or drug addiction, and their romantic relationships are a public free-for-all. Icky for sure, but there’s an audience for it or they wouldn’t bother sharing it. I do totally agree that it is a violation of a kid’s rights to make anything about their private story public, and I share a sense of even greater outrage at failing to protect the privacy of an adopted child.

    And yes, without question, many adoptions can be characterized as criminal. It is clear that so much needs to be overhauled in adoption…there needs to be transparency and openness, the profit needs to be taken out of it, the rights of birthmothers and their babies need to come first, and how to truly serve a baby’s best interests needs to be re-thought. But I don’t believe adoption can or should end entirely.

    My question to eagoodlifeon is genuine: do you truly believe that Charlize Theron should have failed the homestudy and not been allowed to adopt? You suggest she’s unfit to parent — I can’t imagine being able to make a judgment like that about another woman who I don’t even know. I can’t imagine wanting to make that kind of judgment. My question is genuine.

    • No, not all pit bulls will eat the baby. I was veterinary staff for ten years and it so happens that I was only bitten by one pit bull, and that was a nip. (Had I not already been pulling my face away from the dog at the time,however, I don’t know what would have happened; she didn’t get a grip, and my skin wasn’t even broken.) At most of the places I worked, we did not routinely muzzle pits or any other breeds (one place did routinely muzzle Rotts). The fact is the worst dog bite I ever got was from a collie. I still think many people are in denial about the damage pits can do and how often they do it. And I wish people would stop breeding them, because we currently kill unwanted ones by the millions. I’m glad Theron at least chose a rescue pit.

      My a’parents, despite my constant begging, did not acquire a dog (shelter mutt) until such time as I was old enough to help care for her (seven, eight, something like that). I don’t see what’s wrong with that. I realize that’s easy for me to say because I never had kids and therefore didn’t have to adapt a dog already in the household to a new baby. Personally, I would never own a pit, Rott, or chow under any circumstances, because I don’t want the risk or responsibility.

      I didn’t specify “adoptees” in the entry because I know celebs show off their biokids too. I don’t care if they choose to showcase *their own* addictions, weight loss battles, etc., but the children don’t choose to be in the spotlight and should not be placed there.

      In an ideal world, there would be no adoption, and I don’t see anything wrong with working toward that ideal while keeping in mind we’ll very possibly never get there. Maybe adoption will never be entirely unnecessary, but there’s no excuse for the way most of them are done now.

      Oh–I thought you were asking me the question, sorry. (My non-flip answer would be “I don’t know enough about Theron–or about home studies–to say.”)

      It seems to me we’re in basic agreement here?

    • Cocker

      Yeah, you know what else is annoying? People that believe themselves entitle to represent an entire group of people just because they have some factor in common. “Yeah, I was adopted so that adopted kid should be treated this way and that way.” I was adopted too and I never gave a shit about it. People talk about how their kids are born and taken home from the hospital, so why can’t people talk about adoption processes. You are not special, mate. You got baggage just like everyone else.

      • Yeah, people who say they represent all adoptees (or all adoptive parents, or all relinqishing parents) annoy me too. So if I’ve done so, and you can show me exactly where, I’ll happily own it and apologize.

        I know for damned sure I have never declared myself special (this adoptee loathes the very word “special”) or baggage-free. So tell me, “mate,” what exactly was it that crawled up your ass and died?

  4. Pingback: The Only Words I Have Are Effwords | Adopto-Snark

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