I’ve Figured It Out

Bear with me, Bastards. This is crazy, but it explains everything. OK, so there’s this fluffy sparkle cloud that surrounds the word “adoption” for most people, and it smells like cinnamon popcorn inside the cloud, and sweet music plays there all the time while friendly fairies push magical no-cal eclairs into your mouth. And the longer you keep your head in there, the better it gets. It’s the only explanation that makes sense.

Example: Here’s the rare news story that actually does a little adoption truth telling–and in November! It quotes Joan Didion as saying “Adoption…is hard to get right” and Marlou Russell saying “Attachment and abandonment issues are part of every adoption.” (Marlou also expertly warns parents against telling their children they were “chosen” or that they were given up out of love. Thanks!) And here’s Jean Strauss: “[The] secrets inherent in adoption are diminishing and disempowering” even if you’re–yes, we’re not done with the poor man yet–Steve Jobs.

So what did one reader get out of that?

“Adoption is fascinating, sad and beautiful. I hope to adopt or foster one day. Beautiful post…!”

Adoption: It’s fascinating, like a fly’s wing under a microscope. And it’s sad but beautiful, like a painting of a crying clown getting kicked by a purple-horned, sparkle-hooved unicorn but glitter flies out his head instead of blood, and standing off to one side looking really sad is a little girl painted by Margaret Keane with big big eyes and raggedy clothes, and she wants me to adopt her so so much…and over it all there’s a rainbow made of kittens. Also it is beautiful.

The snurchin cannot reproduce that painting, but she can help you imagine it:

Adopt me? Pweeeeeease? I wuv oo!

“Fascinating, sad, and beautiful.”

Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan....

Sooooo fluffy!

Adoption: it means we bleed rainbows.

It bleeds rainbows! SQUEE!

That’s how it works. She saw the a-word and was rendered unable to read or think further by the pink puffy floofy fluffy sparkly musical candy goodness. The only kind of Sad that can live in there is the self-indulgent sentimental kind.

If you want to adopt, you have to take your head out of there once in awhile to do things like write checks and fill out paperwork, and you might comment thus:

“it’s nice to hear the positive side of adoption. My husband and I are in the process of adopting a child and it seems like only the negative side is shown the news/tv/movies.”

I don’t remember hearing anything bad about adoption on TV lately–certainly not in November! Perhaps you saw a rerun of Losing Isaiah? Or did you catch a glimpse of reality by mistake and get shaken? I understand. The contrast is startling.

But there’s no reward in taking your head out of that thing, and it’s so pleasant inside….

Note the article title.

The Dark Side of Adoption. It’s sooo beautiful it probably really does have cookies for me!”



Filed under Adopted And Happy!, AdoptoLand, Sad and beautiful, Those Wacky PAPs, WTF?!

7 responses to “I’ve Figured It Out

  1. The ability to read and comprehend what is read is missing in the adoption world. Well done!

  2. So agree TAO!! Looks like a teensiest bit of reality might be seeping through at last.Don’t know about you but I feel so fascinating today? x

  3. wp

    Could I get a side cupcakes, please?

  4. lara/trace

    You crack me up Adopto-Snark – brilliant post! (feeling euphoria right about now)

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