This was posted in the fly and is almost entirely recycled material. Sorry, Folks–Snurchin has a very busy weekend coming up–so busy that it started on Wednesday.
You Might Be an Entitled AP/PAP If
You’ve parked in a “stork parking” slot because you’re paper pregnant.
You’ve held a fundraiser to finance your adoption.
You call your children’s mother the “birth woman” or “our birth mother.” Bonus points for abbreviating it to “BM.”
You have ever referred to any pregnant woman as a “birth mother.”
You tell the agency you want a child that looks like you.
You complain that adoption costs too much money.
You leave comments on adoption-related news stories defending the actions of “parents” like Anita Tedaldi, the Poeterays, Torry Hansen, and Rosie O’Donnell.
You tell anyone who asks that you adopted overseas so you wouldn’t have to deal with the child’s original family.
You believe without researching them, and repeat to others, horror stories. Like the one about the adoption that was legally and properly completed and the first mother showed up years later and legally got the child back.
You bemoan the “healthy white infant shortage” in American adoption.
You describe your adoption choices as being “right for me and my family” rather than for the child you plan to add to your family.
You give your seven-year-old adoptee a new name to “match” the names of your born children, which have a theme of some sort.
You know in your heart that God wants you to have this baby.
You expect to accompany “your birth mother” to OB/GYN appointments. Triple bonus points for being in the delivery room with her, cutting the cord, and/or giving her a stuffed animal to replace the baby like in all those horrid Adoption Stories episodes.
You plan an adoption “ceremony” in which “your birth mother” is expected to participate.
You don’t tell your child s/he is adopted, or you ask whether or not you ought to tell, or you consider not telling the child. What is this, 1950?
You discount, without research or even consideration, anything bad or troublesome you hear about an adoption or about adoption in general.
You agree to an open adoption, but close it when this becomes inconvenient.
You believe love alone equips you to raise any child or a particular child. Children, like every other living thing, require more than love in order to thrive.
You think of adoption as providing you a child, rather than providing a child a home.