“Adoption Humor”

This

» To Laugh or Not to Laugh: Humor and Adoptive Families – Perspectives on Challenged Family Building.

is adoption humor. Like everything else about adoption, it’s about adoptees but for adoptive parents: It’s hilarious when my kids get in trouble, or when they talk about their first mothers so much I decide they need therapy to forget where they came from. Bonus: when I laugh at them about these things, my blood pressure goes down!

I can’t be the only one who finds this stuff to be hitting below the belt, can I?

“Adoption humor,” like many things labeled “adoption,” is humor that comes at the expense of the adopted. Whether “to laugh or not to laugh” about being adopted is a choice only the adopted can make–and one of the few adoption-related choices we CAN make. We didn’t ask for this, and if we say it isn’t funny when you spray seltzer in our faces, then it ISN’T.

Adoptive parents who would like to laugh “with us” rather than at us would be well served by not blogging about their children. Pick on someone your own size why don’t’cha?

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6 Comments

Filed under What It's Like

6 responses to ““Adoption Humor”

  1. I’m appalled at some of the things non-adoptees find funny about adoption.I do think the time will come when we can laugh about adoption and it will be healthy but on our own terms, not about cruelty and injustice, insensitivity and ignorance.

  2. cb

    Hey Snark, did you know that according to the author of the above link (or rather her protegee), Von is “a true Believer’s biggest nightmare,”

    I believe that Von is very proud of that title lol.

    http://perspectivespress.com/blog/2011/03/10/i-think-i-act-transforming-the-thoughts-of-the-traumatized-adoptee-is-essential/

    • heartbroken1st mom

      Sorry I have just kind of popped in to read your blog, I really like reading your opinions and agree with most of it…
      I am so very distraught by what I read on that link…On coaching other adoption professionals and aparents…She says, “We must say, “Your birthmom did not leave you because you were bad. She didn’t want to be a mom. This was about her. This was not about you.””
      Is this some generic statement she thinks all adoptees should hear?
      The fact is most birthmothers, even those who have their children taken away for addiction reasons, WANT to keep their babies! She also says, “Achieving the highest level of healing possible will require repetition!”
      Brainwashing?? Is this what I am reading? And cold someone explain to me how repeating to a child that their birthmom didn’t want to be thier mother is good and healing?
      AND ,“Yes, it is sad that your birthmom decided not to be your mom.”
      NO that is not how it goes, this is how it should be told… it is extremely heart breaking that we(aparents) decided to be a part of the industry who takes advantage of emotional, hormonal women in a so called “crisis pregnancy.” Yes she was under duress and had no support and didn’t know how she could be a mom, really she probably had no self esteem. And yes instead of helping that woman see she could probably find the means to raise you and instead of helping her realize she deserved to keep you, we wanted you more so we chose to take you home. Because after all we are in a better to raise you & God told us you were ours.

      I need to call it a night, this just makes me sick.

  3. Indeed she is and got a very fine laugh out of it too!

  4. I know she displays that quote proudly, but I had no idea where it came from. Cool!

  5. Hi heartbroken–Pop by anytime! I’m always glad to have comments.

    It sounds like brainwashing to me too. I would hate to have grown up hearing from my a’parents that my mother “didn’t want” me. I got enough of that crap on the playground.

    I was told she wanted to keep me but wasn’t married, which turned out to be the simple, obvious truth.

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