Adoption Colored Glasses

(Warning: There’s not much funny about this post.)

What do they see–the people who drool over adoption in general and celeb adoptions in particular–when they look at these photos? (Mouseover for the kids’ adoptive names.)

My name is Yemsrach.

I had a soul once. They said I had to leave it in Ethiopia with everything else.

I see dead eyes, and a little girl whose rich, famous mommy hasn’t been bothered to so much as hire someone who knows what to do with her hair. Her mother named her Yemsrach.

My name is Rath Vibol.

Stop making "jokes" about my eyes and maybe I'll stop bullying.

I see a little boy who’s tired of being photographed. His name is Rath Vibol.

My new middle name is from the Tibetan Book of the Dead.

I am neither a cookie nor a Cajun.

I see a boy trying very hard to figure out how the Hell he got here from New Orleans and why his new mommy doesn’t know a Cajun from a Yat. (I don’t know what his original name is.)

I wonder what my name was?

I see a boy who might be on the verge of tears. (I don’t know his name either.)

I see no other way to read these facial expressions. And while I did cherry pick them out of a gallery, the gallery was described not as something like “sad imported toy children of the rich and famous” but as a “slideshow of Hollywood kids who have been adopted by A-List celebrities.” These are, in other words, photos that exist to present these kids to the world as ambassadors (willing or not) of the wonder that is adoption.

People look at these photos and they Ooh and Awww and they say “What a lucky little girl. What a lucky little boy.” And I want to stab their fucking eyes out with sharpened fork tines.

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12 Comments

Filed under Adopted And Happy!, Colonialism ROCKS!, Stop Saying That, Those Wacky PAPs, What It's Like

12 responses to “Adoption Colored Glasses

  1. Von

    I don’t snarkurch but I do want them to one day understand that mask of adoption or as it is known in my family ‘the haunted look’.It is seen in other kids too who have suffered trauma, abuse and loss.

  2. Well, OK, I don’t really want to stab out anyone’s eyes.

    ….I’d get that vitreous whatever all over me, and then I’d go to jail. 😉

    But yes, if would be nice if people would *try* to understand.

  3. Erimentha

    I probably wouldn’t stab someone in the eye with a fork but I can tell you this, if I ever see Deborah Lee Furness on the street, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself from punching her in the face and saying “That’s for Oscar’s real mum.”

  4. Speaking of which, why are there no laces in Oscar’s shoes? Seriously–is that the way the cool kids wear’em these days, or do we like our rescued orphans to still look a little, um, “orphany”?

  5. linda

    TLS, that is a very popular style right now–laceless or lacefree shoes. (*His pair just looks like they removed the laces, but not the actual lace-free style with holes and a closed tongue). Converse, Coach, and some other sneaker brands are really into it. The shoes are tight enough to slip on and stay in place through normal walking, etc.

    p.s. very clever: t laurel sulfate–you pest(icide)!!! lol..j/k. i immediately thought of sodium laurel/lauryl sulfate and the nasty soaps and shampoos that use tons of this stuff..anyhoo….

  6. Thanks, linda! I teach, but hadn’t noticed this style.

    And yeah, I snooked my nickname off the back of a shampoo bottle. (-:

  7. You are hilarious and RIGHT ON. I listened to my mom and gave my perfect daughter to f’en strangers (and I’m talking the strangest of the strange) back in the early 80’s. Worst decision of my life. Hell of my last five lives. I hope these young knocked up girls will start to listen. Adoption sucks the soul out of both mother and child.

  8. Thanks, Barbara!

    I think they are starting to listen. As James Thurber once said, “It is not so easy to fool little girls nowadays as it used to be.”

  9. i agree the little boy with lee furness looks very upset over something. All adopted children seem to always look unhappy the adopted people i have spoken to over the years are in a lot of pain . they have told me over the years that they have been beaten and badly mistreated I hope that the government department check up on them from time to time

  10. As far as I know, nobody checks on them from time to time, at least not in the US. There were no follow-up visits to my adoptive household, for instance.

    • cookie

      Thanks for answering that is so sad that they do not check up. I have had as I said a lot of adoptees speak to me over the years and a lot have been assaulted by the adopted father and then they turn to drugs it is sos so sad. That started with that man from the age of 3years old. This is why birth mothers don’t want there child to go out to adopted people as they are not born to them so that is why they don’t care the same way as a natural mother cares. In Australia we natural mothers had our child stolen from us by drugging us and putting pillows over our faces. These adopted mothers don’t care about how they got our child just that they got one.

  11. The last little boy’s natural mother committed suicide because the witch squeezing and hoarding him shut her out of a promised open adoption. Your observations on all of these photo’s are spot on and it sickens me…

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