It’s recently come to the Snurchin’s attention that adopto-vultures are circling Japan. She knew this would happen, and was a bit startled at how long it took. Maybe people know better? No. No, they do not.
“But we only want to helllllp!”
Foreigners looking to adopt a Japanese child orphaned by the recent earthquake may be surprised to know their help, in that respect, is not wanted at the moment.
“I have been receiving many strange emails, from mostly U.S., and was asked, ‘I want [a] girl, less than 6 months old, [and make it a] healthy child,’ Tazuru Ogaway, director of the Japanese adoption agency Across Japan, told FoxNews.com. “I honestly tell you such a kind of emails makes Japanese people very uncomfortable, because for us, sound like someone who are looking for ‘what I want’ from our terrible disaster.”
And I honestly tell you such emails make people with ethics uncomfortable, because for us, this sort of rapacious behavior is unthinkable. One does not help Japan by helping one’s self to its people.
But hey, I’m a cynical spiky urchin–I could be overreacting. Let’s see what the would-be adoptive parents have to say for themselves.
“No, really, we just want to help, because we’re Good Christians!”
(…so good that the entire comments thread quoted hereafter has been bahleted. Sorry. Take my word for it?)
“…I was planning to adopt a baby anyway. Please, help me make a child happy, loved and well taken care of.”
Translation: Hey Japan? Sucks for you, but gimme! That would be so convenient for me–and you know you can’t feel love for or look after your own kids. Thanks awfully!
“We would LOVE to adopt a Japanese orphan our family stopped when I had to have a hysterectomy this summer. …[W]e are in need of another child to love….”
Translation: Japan, listen up! While you’re busy digging yourself out from the rubble, mail me a replacement for the kid/s I was entitled to but couldn’t have. Smooches!
“Is it financial aid for some or considering adopting a child into a loving family.” [I think this person meant to say “is there financial aid for someone…?”]
Translation: Gimme money! –Um, I mean, gimme child!
“One of our children was adopted [pretty sure they mean “by us”?]about a year and a half ago. It’s been a wonderful experience for us. We want to adopt more….”
Translation: Attention Japan, we want! We have, but we want MORE! Adoption may not be awesome for the kids involved or the people who had to give them up, but in the end it’s about US. Please place a healthy baby in a box with some air holes punched in the lid and send it to….
“My wife and I would be hapy [sic] to adopt two Japanese kids and take care of them as our doughters [sic] are now in their 20s.”
Translation: My wife doesn’t know how to be anything but a mommy, and her empty-nest whining is getting to be a pain in my ass. Fix it for me, Japan!
“There is a home full of love here in New Zealand waiting for a child!”
Translation: That means you’re obligated to give us one! We’re waiting, Japan. Pony up! It’s not like you have anything better to do.
“If I can be of any help-including sponsoring or adopting a girl child from Japan, please let me know.”
Translation: Call me, Japan, when my order is ready, won’t you? That was one burger to go, no penis. Because boys don’t need my Christian love.
“Children are ALWAYS a blessing; we would feel so blessed.”
Translation: Please gimme? Pleeeeeease? I said the magic word.
Adopto-Snark 
Lardy, thank you for underlining the selfishness that characterizes so many people’s “desire” for a child.
They made it so easy for me that time….
Funny, all the comments on that post have disappeared now. Surely there was nothing to be ashamed of in all that Christian generosity and compassion?